so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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