We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
