Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
