I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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