Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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