she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
