Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
