he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
