I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
