Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
