Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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