Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
