Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
