i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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