i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Lo siento on account of my penis...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
