You can't special order awesome
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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