im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
