I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
