he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
