Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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