Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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