eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
