you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
