At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
