That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize