why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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