You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He? As in you personified your dick?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
