Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize