would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
