please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
