I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
