I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
