Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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