I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
