I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
