In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
