4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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