is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
