aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
