And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
