is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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