Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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