I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
