I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
