I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
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