i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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