using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
