Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
