No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize