ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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