she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
