You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize