I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We are two peas in an std pod
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
