i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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