Yo dont text me then not text me
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
