Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
