wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
