remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
