Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
