I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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