OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
