She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
