dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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