Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
