i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
