So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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